Misleading Africa

Whether individually or collectively, African leaders never cease to amaze. It seems they all read from the same book of buffoonery and then proceed to try and outdo one another. Perhaps it’s time someone started an international campaign to recognize and award acts of extraordinary, clumsy and bizarre antics by the gang of 54 African Heads of State, most of whom are ageing and should be writing their memoirs rather than presiding over their countries’ economic plunder.

Very few Africans are proud of their Heads of States, remember most of them wade through waist-deep blood, grand corruption, negative ethnicity, drug trafficking and abuse, false promises, cronyism, rigging, bloody coups and all manner of conniving tactics just to gain tenancy of their respective country’s pinnacles of power. While up there, they suddenly realize that they are trapped by their king-makers, usually a group of hangers-on, old and young, male and female who all expect to be granted certain favours by virtue of their contribution to the race to the big house. These cliques operate from behind the scenes but have the president’s ear round the clock. They are more powerful than the cabinet. The president then becomes a besieged man and can only do and say what the king-makers want. And if for example during campaigns the president made a promise to pull the plug on corruption then the king-makers usually find cunning ways of presiding over him to keep his hands off the cartels, occasionally reminding the newly elected president about the huge campaign contributions made by the corruption or drug cartels that he naively thought would be easy to crush “… within my first 100 days in office!”

African Heads of States have no business delivering on their election campaign promises, they cannot afford to waste precious time that would otherwise be spent making trips to their new-found soul mate China. The entire continent’s leaders have suddenly realized that facing east is more lucrative and they can secure trade and aid deals with very loose strings attached. China is least interested in making African countries more democratic, they are not interested in the cries of civil society and human rights activists, they are not keen in lending a hand in the fight against graft, no. China is on its way to dethrone the US as the world’s superpower and they simply have no interest in your internal affairs. The Chinese want a global presence and they have discovered that they can quickly achieve it by pocketing African leaders, often offering attractive kick backs to secure huge contracts in infrastructural development, technology, consumer goods, military aid and so on.

African presidents continue to embarrass the continent from north to south, east to west. We can sample a few – Just the other day, Gambia’s President His Excellency Sheikh, Professor, Alhaji, Doctor Yahya AJJ Jammeh announced his country’s withdrawal from the Commonwealth, claiming that it was a neo-colonialist group. He is the same guy who says he can cure barrenness in women, HIV/Aids and also madness. He is the one guy who tolerates no criticism and has dealt ruthlessly with opposition politicians in his country. And speaking of intolerance to criticism and opposition, how can we not mention our good neighbour Yoweri Kaguta Museveni of Uganda? The manner in which he handles his main political opponent Dr. Kiiza Besigye leaves one wondering if there could be something more than politics behind his hatred and obvious fear for Besigye. The two were once comrades and rumour has it that they differed over a woman who later became the doctor’s wife. Like his peers across the continent, Museveni scores very poorly when it comes to basic human rights.

In neighbouring Rwanda, President Paul Kagame also rules with an iron fist deceivingly covered in kid’s glove. Kagame is popular in Rwanda and with some foreign observers; however, human rights groups accuse him of political repression. Besides, his meddling with the internal affairs of neighbouring DR Congo has put him at crossroads with the international community.

Down south, 71 year old President Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma is also a serious contender for bizzare acts and behaviours, nothing to do with his infamous instant cold shower but for supporting his beleaguered colleagues in the name of sovereignty. "J Zee", as he is commonly known has been on a marrying spree and his genes could be running in the blood of approximately 40 kids he is thought to have sired by different women over a period of time. Zuma’s reading habits (or rather lack of) have recently been a subject of criticism from one Richard Calland who teaches law at the University of Cape Town. His more intellectually gifted neighbour Robert Gabriel Mugabe long lost credibility as a leader and has emerged as a pathetically poor chief executive, subjecting his countrymen to severe inflation of unprecedented proportions. At 90 years, and possibly senile, Mugabe is definitely one of the oldest surviving heads of state. It is alleged that his wife Grace has a tendency of freely slapping anyone who fails to accord her the privileges associated with being a First Lady, locally or internationally.

And what about President El Bashir of Sudan, a man wanted by the ICC to answer charges of crimes against humanity? The court issued a warrant of arrest against him and he has been confined to his country, only setting foot in a few countries that secretly support him. He recently found solace in the name of Kenya’s new president who is also an ICC suspect. The two have jointly colluded with fellow AU bad boys to keep ICC away for a while as they hide behind immunity from prosecution by virtue of being sitting heads of states. Actually the correct word here should be impunity, not immunity. It is impunity because fellow African heads of states have suddenly ganged up like a dangerous cartel to defeat the course of justice.

The AU is now claiming that the court is targeting only Africans. I’m yet to witness a sitting president appearing in a local court on any charges for that matter. I bet no local prosecutor or judge would dare handle a case against a sitting president... The ICC is not hearing cases of misdemeanour such as being drunk and disorderly, not really. The AU should be thinking about permanent solutions that will deter thousands of illegal African immigrants from rushing to their deaths as they attempt to cross the Mediterranean Sea into Europe for better life! Think about ending the wars in Africa, think about proper use of the continent’s vast resources, think about improving the lives of Africans living on the continent, think about reversing the brain-drain that has led to many professionals fleeing the continent, think about improving democracy and good governance, think about the rule of law, security in the continent, think about eradication of diseases. Think about your country and make efforts to turn Africa into a middle-income developed continent over the next 15 years. It is possible.